This is part one in a series of two.

Apple’s WWDC keynote on the 8th of June (yesterday, if it seems like forever passed between then and now) showed the world just how bad Apple’s core products and services are without the Reality Distortion Field™ Steve Jobs generates through the waste matter exuded from his pores. Apple’s core offerings boiled down, really, to just three things as discussed in the keynote:

• Updated MacBook Pros
• Snow Leopard
• A new iPhone

The wonder in all of this is how badly Apple happened to damage their first two offerings in this keynote. Today, I’ll be focusing on the new MacBook Pro line.

First of all, the MacBook Pro now consists of what used to be the original unibody MacBook. As of now, the only vanilla MacBook is literally the vanilla-colored MacBook, with the remainder of Apple’s Pro line consisting of many laptops which aren’t “pro” at all. Apple was once respected for having solid mobile workstations, but the name has been so heavily diluted and cheapened (while still being too expensive for the feature-set offered) that, amongst the graphics professionals I know, many are considering Lenovo’s W series ThinkPads down the road.

Now, let’s take a look at what actually happened to make the current line of MacBook Pros worthless to Professionals:

The battery is no longer removable from the entire line of MacBook Pros

In the past, many people frequently on the move opted for the 15” model over the 17” model simply because it weighed less and ate less room. Many of these people also carried a spare battery or two in order to maximize how much time they could squeeze out of their laptops while away from power outlets. Apple said “screw you guys” and made the battery non-user-servicable under the guise of no longer needing to worry about the battery because it can run for 1000 charges before Apple considers it to be “consumed”

For mobile pros, 1000 charges can easily be done in less than three and a half years, and that’s not including the fact that the algorithm Apple uses seems to count the battery dropping below 20% and being recharged as one charge cycle. Unfortunately for them, AppleCare maxes out at 3 years, so that’s a guaranteed intake of 129USD to replace the battery on 13” and 15” models and 179USD to replace it on the 17” MacBook Pro.

Getting back to the inability to swap the battery itself: assuming the 30%-per-year asymptotic capacity loss as a result of high temperatures in the MacBooks holds true, we now have a MacBook which will last roughly 5 hours per charge to start, 3.5 hours per charge after the first year, and roughly 2.45 hours per charge after the second year. Meanwhile, users can’t hold or swap batteries down the road, so that means they’re often stuck with just that much charge. In environments typical to video editing, photography, events, and other places where long battery life is critical, this is an embarrassment.

Of course, the battery isn’t the only problem. Let’s look at another critical change:

The ExpressCard slot was ditched in favor of an SD Card slot

That’s right. Apple distanced a broader target audience away from the new MacBook Pro line in favor of photographers. Never mind the fact that the non-removable battery makes the MacBook Pro a very unappealing notebook for mobile use; it’s as if Apple wants to add detriments to their MacBook Pros which mutually exclude various groups of people. At first, a non-removable battery might not seem all too bad if one could still use his HSPA/EVDO ExpressCard to go online from anywhere, but that group has now been slashed by the lack of said ExpressCard slot. The same goes for the many professional videographers who almost always have ExpressCard firewire adapters in order to connect multiple video cameras.

Near-invisible expansibility fell through the floor with this omission. From a practicality standpoint, it’s easier to leave an ExpressCard slotted as opposed to leaving a USB dongle perpetually plugged in. ExpressCards don’t suffer from bent ports and other issues when doing this, and there’s also less to fiddle with when one just leaves an ExpressCard in place. It’s a huge convenience factor as well as being amazingly kind to those who tend to forget to bring the various essential USB adapters they need.

Granted, if these were my only qualms with the new MacBook Pro line, I’d have a pretty shaky argument, so let’s analyze the MacBook Pros themselves.

The spec sheet is inferior for the money

Here’s a rundown of the specs Apple thinks are relevant for the baseline 15” MacBook Pro:

15-inch WSXGA (1440×900)

2.53ghz

4GB DDR3

250GB HDD

9400M Graphics with 256MB shared memory

SD Card Slot (Really? This is a selling point?)

1699USD

Great! That doesn’t seem to unreasona–

Lenovo W500

15-inch WSXGA+ (1680×1050)

2.53ghz

4GB DDR3

250GB HDD

ATI Mobility FireGL V5700 with 512MB VRAM) and Intel AMT (Holy crap!)

ExpressCard Slot and a Smart Card reader.

1534USD

What if I want a decent battery? Tack on 70USD and grab that 9 cell battery over there. 1604USD.

So, for 95USD less than the baseline 15” MacBook Pro, I can have a laptop with a better screen that has a better backlight, the same processor, the same amount of RAM, a workstation-class graphics card with double the dedicated memory, an ExpressCard slot, a Smart Card reader I can use for authenticating to my corporate network, a backwards-compatible operating system with a minimal footprint that has run the rounds through the 64 bit world, and Lenovo’s decent customer service and solid build quality (unlike what I’ve experienced through Apple). That’s not including the significant coupons Lenovo offers from time to time.

I know I’m not the only one who thought the keynote was an embarrasment; my friend Michael from Neowin also agrees with this viewpoint (update: as does Kristan Kenney, who himself has lived within Apple’s Reality Distortion Field for too long). Now that I’ve run through this, what are your thoughts? Do you think I nailed it, or do you think I’m completely off with my entire argument? Feel free to drop a line in the comments, at least regarding the MacBook Pros. I’ll deal with Snow Leopard tomorrow.